Music: Glee, Take a Bow
Mood: meh
I finally finished those 2 nasty, horrible, disgusting, torturing thermodynamics problem sets, and now I am typing up a 2500 words paper on the Iraq-Iran war/Gulf War/offensive realism IR theory. I have no idea when the due date is, but sometimes before Sunday should be fine with my professor...
I think it's rather odd that on this Friday night, when I have a paper to rush, I am feeling the most calm, the calmest that I have been in the past month and half.
I am trying to remember what I did most of my Friday nights here: 9/4 - had dinner with Charles and company and coffee/long catch up session with Angela. 9/11 - rushed my BCG application/had dinner at M's place. 9/18 - had dinner at Thali Too with YHHAP/slept early for my LSAT diag test the next day. 9/25 - had dinner with M and I was so out of it that I really didn't enjoy it. 10/2 - Bouchet's Alum Conference dinner/spend the night at M's place/had a good talk. 10/9 - was too excited to get over a hard week, wanted to study, but decided to hang out with M instead, and slept like crazy. 10/16 - tonight, writing my essay, researching at the library, and missing all my friends and M.
I cannot believe it's only been a month and half... it feels like I have been here for at least twice that amount of life. So many things have happened, and it seems like everything just sort of unravels senior year. It's the first weekend that I feel like I am at Yale - I am studying, I am reading, I am doing problem sets, and I am typing at the library. These might sound really nerdy and uncool, but these are what I am comfortable with. I know how to rush papers, crank out quantatative answers that I have no idea what they mean, look up books on Orbis, check out articles, and youtube in between those amazing hours of paper BSing. For the last month and half, I have been challenged with lots of new things - some exciting, some lovely, some terrifying, some frustrating, but none exhilarating. Getting over an old relationship, getting into a new relationship, taking a seminar on the Middle East (really should have taken intro to ME first...), being a senior and realizing that there are still lots of things you don't know about Yale/New Haven, applying for fellowships, writings resumes and cover letters, going on interviews, trying to figure out what's the next stage of life, trying to uncover what exactly am I passionate about, and just dealing with random crap along the way that were super unnecessary but inevitable. I have been so out of my elements, and today, even though I am kind of sad, I feel sort of like myself again.
