Paper on a Friday Night

Music: Glee, Take a Bow
Mood: meh

I finally finished those 2 nasty, horrible, disgusting, torturing thermodynamics problem sets, and now I am typing up a 2500 words paper on the Iraq-Iran war/Gulf War/offensive realism IR theory. I have no idea when the due date is, but sometimes before Sunday should be fine with my professor...

I think it's rather odd that on this Friday night, when I have a paper to rush, I am feeling the most calm, the calmest that I have been in the past month and half.

I am trying to remember what I did most of my Friday nights here: 9/4 - had dinner with Charles and company and coffee/long catch up session with Angela. 9/11 - rushed my BCG application/had dinner at M's place. 9/18 - had dinner at Thali Too with YHHAP/slept early for my LSAT diag test the next day. 9/25 - had dinner with M and I was so out of it that I really didn't enjoy it. 10/2 - Bouchet's Alum Conference dinner/spend the night at M's place/had a good talk. 10/9 - was too excited to get over a hard week, wanted to study, but decided to hang out with M instead, and slept like crazy. 10/16 - tonight, writing my essay, researching at the library, and missing all my friends and M.

I cannot believe it's only been a month and half... it feels like I have been here for at least twice that amount of life. So many things have happened, and it seems like everything just sort of unravels senior year. It's the first weekend that I feel like I am at Yale - I am studying, I am reading, I am doing problem sets, and I am typing at the library. These might sound really nerdy and uncool, but these are what I am comfortable with. I know how to rush papers, crank out quantatative answers that I have no idea what they mean, look up books on Orbis, check out articles, and youtube in between those amazing hours of paper BSing. For the last month and half, I have been challenged with lots of new things - some exciting, some lovely, some terrifying, some frustrating, but none exhilarating. Getting over an old relationship, getting into a new relationship, taking a seminar on the Middle East (really should have taken intro to ME first...), being a senior and realizing that there are still lots of things you don't know about Yale/New Haven, applying for fellowships, writings resumes and cover letters, going on interviews, trying to figure out what's the next stage of life, trying to uncover what exactly am I passionate about, and just dealing with random crap along the way that were super unnecessary but inevitable. I have been so out of my elements, and today, even though I am kind of sad, I feel sort of like myself again.

October Update

So it's been a month or so ever since I got back to Yale, and oh gosh, it's been... interesting.

First of all, the job hunt atmosphere here among Yalies, especially for consulting and ibanking jobs, is just too intense for me to handle. Even if you are selected for an interview, you still have to wait by your laptop like the moment they send out the email or else you do not get the time slot you want since everyone else is by his/her laptop, waiting for that perfect time to sign up.

Second of all, I feel like this semester is not as academic as I would like it to be. I have been applying to so many random stuff, mainly jobs, I have been ignoring academics. I think it's time to get back on track.

I ended a horrible summer relationship, started a new one, dealt with some health issues, decided to delay my application to grad school, got over my health issues, and now am faced with some new interesting but difficult development in my relationship. I don't know... it's just soooooooo many things happening within such a short amount of time that I have had time to digest...

Let's hope the November update is more enlightening....