I am sitting in some random lecture about Parliamentary will, which is given by this random lecturer from some obscure college of Cambridge; he's also a wine steward. I am absolutely enthralled with and fascinated by his commentaries on punctuations and taxes on juke boxes, motivating me to check my facebook/email/twitter account/igoogle music tab/and finally my blogger.
I am 3/4 way done with the program here at Cambridge, and it's been a happy but trying experience so far. Lectures have gotten better - with science lectures on sustainability and an impending tour of the botanic garden, history lectures on memories and history (totally within the realm of my research topic), and a couple of ISS lectures on international politics and government. I have found that for most lectures, the elaborate title is the often the most exciting aspect of that lecture. Our discussion sections on selective afternoons are rather uninspiring and often insipid. My supervisions are getting better and better though - we started off with a discussion of culture, moved on to Fukuyama and history, flirted with Kant and his theory of aesthetics, and now we are pondering about human nature. Various lectures and my supervisions have challenged my understanding of the world or a Hegelian perspective on history and international relations (even though I do not believe that Realism should have sprung from Hegel's writing on sovereignty and international relations... but that's a different issue now). I find it hard to defend my position - how do I reject the Existential view that history is random and prove that we are developing towards a state of perfect harmony? How do I prove that all human beings are rational and that there's one value to which all humanity aspire to? I am now debating whether I should continue with intellectual history or should I move on to analytical philosophy?
I am also struggling to mature and grow up a bit here in Cambridge. Conversations with friends that I have made here, who are from various parts of the world, have made me see the grave deficiencies in my understanding of the world and human nature. I am exploring another aspect of my personal life that I have usually ignored out of fear, bad time management, and general bad luck. This process is a bit daunting but through it, I am reaffirming my selfhood and identity. When challenged, I realize the set of moral and life beliefs that I hold dearly to my heart. There are just some beliefs that I refuse to give up, not out of stubbornness but out of self-preservation in the sense of a self-identity.
Nevertheless, I still look forward to go home - eat good food, meet up with friends, start research for grad school or job search, visit San Francisco, and most importantly, go back to Yale!
